


They say all things heal with time...

by JuliaBaggins



Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Captain America: Civil War (Movie) Spoilers, Dreams and Nightmares, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fix-It, Hurt/Comfort, Love, M/M, Memories, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Steve Rogers Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-03
Updated: 2016-06-22
Packaged: 2018-06-05 16:34:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,233
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6712663
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JuliaBaggins/pseuds/JuliaBaggins
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After the events of Civil War, Steve and Bucky are healing. Together.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I had already decided to write something like this as soon as the credits started after Civil War, and well, then the mid-credits-scene happened, and I felt the need for it even more...

Steve sighed as he sat down on the hard hotel mattress. His whole body was aching and he was so tired, he would have wished to be able to just lay down and sleep, but he couldn’t. Not yet. First, he needed to make sure that Bucky was okay. Or at least as close to it as the circumstances allowed.

As soon as they had gotten into this abandoned hotel out in the middle of nowhere, Steve had helped his friend to lay down on one of the beds, and there he still was, open eyes staring at the ceiling. Steve opened the first aid kit he had found in the bathroom and had a look inside, then cast his eyes back to Bucky. There were some cuts on his face, a lot of blood, and Steve went to the bathroom to wet a towel with warm water before he carefully sat down next to Bucky.

“Bucky?”

He flinched and blinked at Steve before he nodded ever so slightly.

“Is this okay?”

Steve pointed towards the first aid kit and the towel, Bucky nodded again and Steve carefully started to wipe the blood off of Bucky’s face. When he was done, Bucky sat up and Steve tried his best to stich and patch up the various cuts and bruises. It hurt to see his best friend in such a state, just to see his face, and he could imagine that the rest of his body wasn’t looking any better. 

But of course that wasn’t the worst; not even Bucky’s missing arm was. For Steve, the worst was the expression in his best friend’s eyes. He remembered how not even a few days ago, Bucky had been laughing together with Sam, they had shared memories, and now… Steve had no idea what to say. It was as if there were no words for a situation like this, nothing he could say to make any of this better. Of course he still tried, as he always did.

 

“I'm sorry about your arm.”

Bucky looked down at what was left of his once mighty metal arm and answered in a small voice.

“Yeah, me too, but I guess last time was worse...”

He stopped talking as soon as he saw the expression on Steve's face. And Steve broke down. After he had tried to hold himself together for so long, this little sentence, the mentioning of when he had let Bucky down after he fell, was just too much. Steve was crying, his whole body was shaking, while the thoughts of all the people he had hurt, the ones who had hurt him, danced around each other in his mind.

Steve thought of Tony, the man who had been some kind of a friend to him for years now, how they had fought side by side against aliens as well as robots. He remembered how he had slammed his shield down to Tony’s chest, how close he had been to totally lose control and kill him. How Tony had wanted to put his best friend in prison, how he had finally come to apologize. The expression in his eyes when he witnessed how his parents were murdered. The anger, the regret, the suffering. The hate when he looked at Bucky, and how Steve had felt a spark of that in himself when he watched how Iron Man was hurting his best friend.

Steve thought of Howard, who had been his friend all those years ago, of his wife he had never met. He thought of all the other Avengers, those who had been by his side and those he wished had been. They were his friends and it had been hard to fight against them after fighting, laughing, living with each other for so long. It pained Steve to know that things would never be as they had been between them, not after everything that had happened. He was not even sure if all of them were alright or if someone had been seriously injured, or even killed, after Bucky and him had left Leipzig. Tony had mentioned nothing about it when he arrived and soon, Zemo appeared, showed them the video of the night the Winter Soldier had killed Tony’s parents, and it was not like there had been room for small talk or questions about their friends’ wellbeing after that.

He remembered how for a moment, he had been convinced that Tony had not only taken Bucky’s arm but also his life. _Bucky._ Who had put his right arm around Steve’s shoulders now and held him while he was crying for everything that had happened, all that had gone wrong. Steve let himself be held by Bucky, pressed his face which was decorated with tracks of tears to Bucky’s shoulder. After a moment, Bucky carefully laid back and pulled Steve with him, so the trembling blonde could rest his head on Bucky’s chest. Hearing his steady heartbeat somehow helped Steve to calm down a little.

 

“I’m so sorry that I didn’t went after you when you fell from that train.”, he whispered into Bucky’s chest.

“You couldn’t have known.”, Bucky simply stated.

After a moment of silence, Steve continued talking.

“I’m sorry for what Tony did, I…”

Helplessly, Steve gestured towards the remains of Bucky’s left arm with his hand that was not clutched into the fabric of Bucky’s shirt. Bucky shook his head.

“I may not have wanted to kill his parents, but I still did. I killed both of them with my own hands, so I understand his point. Maybe I des…”

_“No!”_

Steve got up rather abrupt and came to stand next to the bed with trembling knees. Bucky blinked at him in confusion.

“Don’t you _dare_ to say that you deserved that. _Any_ of it.”

“Steve, I…”

“No, you’ll let me say that now. Listen to me carefully, will you?”

Steve sat down at the edge of the bed again and locked his gaze with Bucky’s. A tear blinked in one of his friend’s beautiful eyes that held an expression so much sadder than he had known it all those years ago, and Steve was even more sure that he needed him to understand something very important.

 

“Bucky. It was not you. You are not responsible for anything they forced you to do. You are, you are a good man, with a _good heart_ and it wasn’t your fault. You said you knew that, but also that you weren’t sure if you were worth me fighting for you. Buck, you're worth everything, all I could give, and more. You're my family, everything I have, and I...”

He was unsure of how to put it, or, better said, he was scared to say the words. They would be easy, three simple words, and he could pretend that he meant them just towards a friend, a brother. But even this…

To his surprise, Bucky carefully placed his hand on Steve’s knee and looked at him, the sadness and the emptiness in his eyes replaced by something else. Something warm that Steve had last seen over 70 years ago and had feared to never see again. A tear rolled down Bucky’s cheek while a knowing smile appeared on his lips.

“Me too Stevie, me too.”

Steve couldn’t help smiling himself, and suddenly, they were in each other’s arms again, holding tight and understanding so much without saying a single word. After some time had passed, Steve leaned back so he could look at Bucky’s face.

 

“There’s one more thing I’m sorry about.”

“Steve, please, you really should stop apologizing for things you couldn’t ha…”

“I'm sorry that I didn't kiss you while we were in that elevator.”

“What?”

“I wanted to. And I knew how low the chances were for us to get out there alive, so I guess it felt like a last-chance-scenario to me. And still...”

“You didn’t.”

Steve nodded, and without a second of hesitation he leaned forward and placed his lips on Bucky’s. It was a slow kiss, exploring each other again after all those years, and it was perfect. Bucky placed his hand in Steve’s hair and for a moment, he was able to forget the expression in Stark’s eyes when he had seen him kill his mother. 

 

While he melted into their kiss, Steve thought of Bucky. His beautiful, magnificent best friend who had been hurt so badly, whom he thought to have lost more than once. The man who had willingly not eaten something for days to safe money to be able to buy the medicine that Steve needed but never would have been able to afford himself. The soldier he had fought side by side with, all those years ago in Germany and just a few hours ago against a man he had thought to be his friend. 

Steve thought of the smile that had appeared on Bucky’s face when he had tried to tell him that he loved him and he wondered if maybe, after everything that had happened, they would still be able to be okay. After all, they still had each other, Steve had Bucky and Bucky had Steve, and so far, this had always been enough. For Bucky was everything that Steve needed and Bucky, who currently lazily played with Steve’s hair with his fingers, felt the same about Steve. They were together, finally, and for now, that was enough…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!
> 
> Nice comments make my day :)


	2. Chapter 2

_Steve was witnessing how Bucky’s arm got ripped off, how his friend sank to the floor, Tony moved closer, and he wanted to help Bucky, getting to him was the only thing that was important. So Steve crawled towards Bucky, only to find him staring at him from dead eyes, and his heart broke, but suddenly, there was Bucky’s voice in his ear…_

“Steve.”

_Now how could he be speaking to him, if he was laying there without a heartbeat? Steve started to get confused…_

“Stevie!”

The mentioning of his old nickname was what finally woke Steve from his nightmare and he blinked up at Bucky, standing above him in the dim light. His hand was placed on Steve’s shoulder, as he had tried to shake him awake, and, judged by the expression on his face, he was unsure if he should let it remain there. Steve could see his struggle and before Bucky could start to move his hand, he placed his own on top of it.

“Thank you.” 

Bucky nodded and smiled at him, though the smile didn’t quite reach his eyes.

 

Steve sat up in his bed, rubbed the sleep out of his eyes and looked at Bucky again. His friend still looked so tired, and Steve couldn’t deny that this worried him.

“Were you able to get some sleep?”

“Yeah, sure.”

“You’ve never been a good liar. Or”, Steve continued when Bucky opened his mouth to protest, “at least you’ve never been good at lying to me.”

“Well, I’m still a better liar than you.”

“Sure, everyone is. Guess that’s why I'm always saying the truth, right?”

Steve’s words seemed to have reached something in Bucky, as suddenly, the smile which had been on his face disappeared. When he continued talking, his voice had also gone more serious, the lightness of their few previous sentences was gone.

 

“Do you regret it?”

Steve was not totally sure to which _it_ Bucky referred, but he was sure of his answer. It didn’t matter if his friend was speaking about Steve laying down his shield, fighting against Tony by Bucky’s side, breaking with some of the other Avengers, staying with him, whatever… The answer was always the same.

“No.”, Steve simply said.

Bucky shook his head, eyes fixed somewhere on Steve’s blanket. 

“Never.”

And with that, Steve placed his hand on Bucky’s chin, adding a bit of pressure to cause him to look up. Their eyes met.

“And you know why that is the case.” _Because I love you,_ Steve added in his thoughts.

“I do. Though I can’t fully und… Steve, I’m not the same man anymore that I was when we lived in Brooklyn. I just, well, I guess I don’t want you to regret anything later…”

Steve had to fight to keep his voice steady after that statement.

“Buck. Of course I know you’ve changed, but so have I. I’m not that skinny kid picking up fights in backyards anymore. But the important thing is that if I did, you’d still come to help me. Because though everything that happened and that we’ve fallen out of our time, there’s one thing that’s still the same. You’re James Buchanan Barnes. I’m Steven Grant Rogers. And that’s enough.”

It would have been hard for Steve to say if the low light was playing tricks on him or if there were actual tears in Bucky’s eyes, but if there were some, they weren’t tears of sadness…

Steve moved over to the left side of the bed and without needing any words, he asked Bucky to lay down with him. He did, his arm protectively wrapped around Steve, and both of them relaxed into their touch.

 

“What will we do now?”, Bucky asked silently, causing Steve to look up from where he had placed his head on Bucky’s chest.

“We’ll think of something. And it will be alright, as long as we’re together.”

This time, Bucky’s smile reached his eyes, he placed a light kiss in Steve’s hair and he believed his words. Noticing a spark of hope in his chest after all those dark years was a strange feeling, and most of all, it was unexpected. But he should have known it – if anyone would be able to cause him to feel that way again, it would be Steve. It would always be Steve.

“Bucky?”

“Hm?”

“Have I ever told you that I like the way you’re wearing your hair now?”

Bucky chuckled, and Steve was in his arms, and for the first time in many years, both of them felt truly _at home…_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! :)
> 
> If you liked my story, I'm happy to hear it ❤
> 
> If you didn't, or this isn't your ship, or you dislike FanFiction in general - I hope you find something else you enjoy.  
> But please keep your negativity to yourself.


	3. Chapter 3

When Steve woke up the next morning, it was to a dim light and Bucky’s steady heartbeat underneath his ear. He didn’t immediately open his eyes, just remained how he was, and let the warm feeling that waking up in Bucky’s arms again, after all these endless years, caused him take over. Maybe they could stay that way, just the two of them, safe in each other’s arms, if he would just don’t move…

“I can tell you’re awake, you know.”

Bucky’s voice sounded almost amused and Steve opened his eyes, blinked up at Bucky and shot him a tired smile. None of them made any attempt to get up, quite the reverse was the case - Steve laid his head back to Bucky’s chest and Bucky pulled him even closer with his arm.

“I missed this. Us. It’s nice to have the real you with me when I wake up.”, Bucky whispered into Steve’s hair.

“Yeah, I missed us t… Wait, how do you mean that? The _real me?”_

Steve raised his head and saw how Bucky wouldn’t meet his eyes, how he obviously regretted his own words.

“Bucky?”

“Well, I, I had a picture of you, one that I really liked. And sometimes, when I would have a... a bad night, I’d place it next to me, and it helped. Thinking of you always did.”

“Buck…” Steve’s trembling voice broke.

“Hey, it’s alright Stevie. Got you back after all, haven’t I?”

Steve nodded. “Yes. Forever.”

“Till the end of the line.”

Bucky smiled and when Steve heard him say this words, _their words,_ he leaned up to kiss him. And if he had already wished they could stay like this forever earlier, he did so even more now – an eternity spent just with kissing Bucky, that was a nice thought…

 

It was about an hour later when Steve carefully got up and decided that it was time to find out what had happened to the other Avengers. Bucky was on his bed, having dozed off again just a few minutes ago, and Steve silently closed the bathroom door behind him to avoid waking Bucky. He called Natasha and smiled when the first thing she told him was that she would have expected him to call her earlier.

When Steve got out of the bathroom again, Bucky was sitting on his bed, looking at Steve.

“Whom did you talk to?”

“Natasha. She told me how things went after we left Leipzig, and she also offere… Buck?”

Steve had noticed how Bucky seemed to be lost in his own thoughts, not quite listening to him anymore. And when he started speaking again, the defeated sound of his voice made Steve’s heart ache.

 

“I hurt her. Natalia. I can remember it, or at least pieces. A cloudy day, some dessert, a man she tried to get out. I killed him by shooting right through her. I wasn’t caring if she’d survive, it would have been just another causality in a long list. And then she helped us to escape from all this crazy people fighting in Germany, after…”

Bucky would have gone on like this, blaming himself for everything he did to Steve’s friends, hell, to Steve _himself,_ but when he saw the pained expression on his friend’s face, he decided to stop. Or rather to lighten the mood by changing the direction of his words.

“How did you even meet all of them? I mean Sam, Natalia, Stark, the one with the arrows, at least I understand that. But a flying purple man with some jewel in his head? _Seriously?_ And who the hell was that incredibly annoying spider-guy?”

Steve couldn’t help but laugh at that last question. Bucky had always been good at this, making him laugh.

“I honestly haven’t got a clue. Met him for the first time there.”

They went on like that for some time, Steve told Bucky about the other Avengers, how he had met them, and he also told him that Natasha as well as him thought how some of them could help Steve and Bucky with their current situation. She had told Steve during their call that T’Challa had offered them to stay in Wakanda with him, that Sam would go with them if they wanted, how Wanda had spoken with Natasha about the possibility that she could try to erase the triggers from Bucky’s mind. When Steve mentioned this, Bucky visibly tensed, and both of them knew that they would have to talk more about that in the future. But not now, and not here – at the moment, staying silent seemed like the right option, both of them lost in plans and hopes and fears of how their future might look. They sat close to each other like that, Steve’s head resting on Bucky’s shoulder, and after some minutes Bucky was the first to break their silence.

 

“When I… came back to myself, one of the first memories I got back was one of us. A rainy day in Brooklyn, one that I like to remember. Thinking of that particular day made me feel less alone. And more like myself again.”

“Which day would that be?”, Steve asked, though he had an idea of what Bucky meant, judged by the fond smile that started to appear on his lips.

“Our first kiss. It was cold, raining, and you were stupid enough to not only get into another fight with someone twice your size, but also managed to forget your jacket somewhere along the way.”

“You gave me yours after you had found me.”

“Course I did. Couldn’t let you freeze your sorry ass to death, could I?”

Steve laughed and when Bucky started to speak again, his voice was filled with affection.

“I kissed you as soon as we had gotten to my place, as I was so glad to have found you in time. And, well, as it had hit me just then that I… had feelings for my best friend.”

Bucky smirked, for a moment, before his expression became thoughtful again.

“God, Steve, we were 16 back then. That’s such a long time ago.”

“It is. And sometimes I miss it, how Brooklyn was back then, how simple life used to be… Or, I rather used to miss it. It’s not like I had a reason to miss home anymore.” 

Bucky found no words to reply, so he just pulled Steve closer and placed a kiss on top of his head, wanting him to feel how grateful he was for everything. How much he wanted Steve’s vision of a peaceful future for the two of them to come true, be it in Wakanda or anywhere else on this planet. How he’d give all he had to make sure that Steve would be happy and safe…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! :)
> 
> If you liked my story, I'm happy to hear it ❤
> 
> If you didn't, or this isn't your ship, or you dislike FanFiction in general - I hope you find something else you enjoy.  
> But please keep your negativity to yourself.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An epilogue from Natasha's POV. Takes place a few months after the previous chapters.

Natasha walked into what she would call the living room of T’Challa’s residence; a huge space filled with couches, an entertainment system and a rather spectacular view over Wakanda’s mountains and forests. It was early, no one else seemed to be up yet, and she had planned to have her cup of coffee in the silent peace that this place offered; watching the morning’s fog move slowly outside of the windows.

As soon as she heard a noise, she froze, having a quick check of her surroundings. No potential danger was in sight, but what she had heard had come from the center of the room, so she carefully took a step forward… and stopped again. Though this time, it was for completely different reasons. 

The huge grey sofa was facing away from the door, so she could only now have a look at it. And what Natasha saw were two people, sleeping, tangled up with each other. She smiled at the sight of them. Bucky had his arms, flesh and vibranium, wrapped protectively around Steve while one of Steve’s hands rested on Bucky’s chest, right next to his heart. Somehow, Steve had managed to wrap both of their blankets around himself so Bucky was lying there just in his hoodie, but he wouldn’t mind, of that Natasha was sure. 

For a moment, she stayed there, enjoying the calm expressions of sleep on two faces that had been plagued by nightmares for way too long, before she finally took her coffee and left.

.

Natasha found herself another spot to watch the nature, some birds flying towards the sky, and her thoughts still circled around the two super soldiers on the couch. Steve had been her friend for years now and she remembered how once, a few months ago, she had said to him she’d know what Bucky meant to him when she tried to convince him not to get involved in the whole mess that had kept them busy back then. Of course she had already known that he wouldn’t listen to her. And she had been wrong, about knowing what Bucky meant to Steve. 

To Steve, Bucky was _so much more_ than a best friend and brother in arms, a glimpse of an easier life how she had thought back then, and she wouldn’t dare to say that she fully understood their relationship now. 

 

But there were some things she knew, for example how much they needed each other, how happy every one of Bucky’s smiles (that weren’t so rare anymore) made Steve, how proud he was of Bucky's progress. How much Bucky hated what he had done to Steve most of all while he was the Soldier, and how he had still refused when Wanda had offered to take these memories away together with the triggers in his mind. Because somehow, even these painful moments, these fights, seemed to be a part of what made them _them,_ a puzzle piece in their joined history. And now, both of them could be sure that they’d never be in a situation like that again, that they’d never even get close to hurt the other. 

They were _safe,_ both of them, together on a sofa somewhere in Wakanda and Natasha knew that this was enough for them. That being together was all that Steve and Bucky needed and ever would need.

While she took another sip of her coffee, Natasha remembered how she had helped them to get away from Leipzig. Back then, she hadn’t known much more of Bucky than the Winter Soldier, but somehow, the way Steve looked at him had been enough to convince her that he was worth her trust, her support. And during the last few months, she had been able to see how right she had been to do so. 

Bucky was healing, Natasha was sure of that. They were healing together. 

 

And when Natasha heard soft voices a few minutes later, unable to understand what they were saying, but recognizing the tone they spoke in, she thought of another thing she knew about Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes. 

They loved each other. 

She had never heard them say the actual words, wasn’t even sure if they used them when they were alone, but to her, it was not like this would be necessary. There were a hundred ways to say _I love you_ , be it through touches, looks, actions or words, and with what Steve and Bucky shared, they seemed to be saying _I love you_ all the time. The thought of it made Natasha smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Nice comments make my day :)


End file.
